A few months ago I decided that I wanted to have a website. I wanted my clients, and potential clients, to have an opportunity to get to know who I am as a therapist, see how I work, what I specialize in, and be able to come away from their visit having caught a glimpse of my passion for the work I do. Most importantly, I want those who come to my website who are feeling afraid or confused, wondering if their situation is hopeless to know that I am here to help, and that I want to help.
After talking with a few of my colleagues about how they went about building their websites I got it in my mind to try and save a good chunk of money by using a do-it -yourself program. To say that I am technologically challenged would be a huge understatement, but the sellers of the do-it-yourself program assured me that I would be following step-by-step instructions and that support would be available 24/7. Motivated by the amount of money I could save I took a leap of faith and signed up. Admittedly, there really wasn’t a lot of faith in that leap. My gut told me I was probably in over my head, but listening to my gut was not going to keep business costs down. So guess what? I didn’t listen to my gut. The one saying “Ask for help, get some help!”
I did my best to follow the “step-by-step” directions, but was getting nowhere really fast. I called my 24/7 support person, but I would get off the phone with no more confidence in my ability to make this happen than I had before we spoke. I didn’t want to give up, so I gave it another try, and then another and another….Soon all I had to do was sit down with my laptop and my anxiety level would sky rocket. Finally, I decided to do what I basically knew I should have done from the beginning; get help and hire a professional do it!
Why is it we resist getting the help we need? I knew from the beginning that building a website was way out of the scope of my tech ability, but because saving some bucks sounded really good I talked myself in to to believing (well, really half believing), something that I knew not to be true. What I thought I could save in dollars I was spending in bouts of anxiety.
It’s not always about amateur vs. professional. In many ways we tend to try to go it alone long after our common sense tells us we need help. Solo caregiving, struggling in a class, overwhelmed parenting, an ailing relationship, problems with a co-worker, and the classic – getting lost and refusing to ask for directions. Does it make us feel weak to admit we need help? Our society places great value on independence and being able to solve our own problems. How and when did that happen? However we got to this place, it doesn’t make sense to go it alone when there are supports that can be accessed. The fact is that it is more natural for humans to live connected and in concert with other humans than it is to go it alone. We all have limitations. Spending every ounce of emotional energy you have on a situation that doesn’t change won’t make us feel independant. It makes us exhausted. It can upset every area of our lives. Take control, acknowledge your human limitations and ask for help.
When I decided my over the top anxiety wasn’t worth what I might save in dollars, I did a little research and found a wonderful company that works with therapists to build websites, and it was affordable! I have the beautiful website I wanted, and best of all I’m able to let others know I am here to help, and I want to help.